Why hello there anybody and everybody who has come to check out my new blog. I have tried before at this blog thing, but I didn't really go about it in this same way I plan on going about this one. I may not be posting enough a week, and I may not have the crazy content that some bloggers have, but I plan on being 100% real. I plan on doing what I can with my small amount of time I have, saying what I feel, and using this as a way to express all my thoughts. I have many thoughts but a lot of time I don't have time to sit and process them. I have seen counselors and I know how important it is to process things, to write thoughts down. Life is so crazy, and us moms are seriously just trying our absolute best. I have a lot going on right now, but for some reason I just keep wanting to add more and more. I am not sure if I am trying to find myself in the mom world, or if I am searching for something. Either way, I don't mind if I need to try some different things out to see what sticks! Most of you know a lot about me, but I figure we should go through some things so you can learn even more about me! Let's do it by bullets, because everybody likes some organization right?!
- I have been with my husband, Andrew, since 2009, I met him when I was three years old. My husband was my neighbor across the street. We were friends growing up and I moved to Chandler when I was in about 6th grade. Somehow, Andrew and I stayed in touch through those years and saw each other every so often. In the summer of 2009, it was the right timing, and somehow we felt sparks [I use to think that was fake, but we had a actual moment where we both felt like the pull for each other to have something more] which is when it all started. We got married in 2013 after two years of long distance while Andrew played golf and went to school for the University of Nevada in Reno. In January of 2015 we had our daughter Anderson Layne, and in August of 2016 we had our miracle baby Fitzgerald! My husband is a mortgage banker for Peoples Mortgage and has been in the business since 2012. He is a very hard worker, he doesn't ever stop, and his wheels are always turning and thinking about how he can better himself for his business and better his business for himself! He is driven and enjoys helping people find homes to start their American dream! Check out his radio show every Friday at 10 am! Sometimes he even says things about me he isn't supposed to say on Facebook live!
- I am a Seventh-Day Adventist and a vegetarian. I have been both since the day I was born! I have been brought up in a Adventist home, learning about God through grade school, middle school and high school. I really cherish that my parents sent me to a private Christian school until I was in 8th grade. I think it helped me have a good head on my shoulders, and when I went to public school and saw how life really is, I was able to use my core values I learned while growing up to navigate the best I could through real life. God is such a big part of my life. Although I was brought up and I knew God while growing up, I never felt like I really knew him until I had reached an all-time low. My relationship got so much stronger in 2010 when I really felt like I had no where else to turn. No one could save me from my severe anxiety and panic attacks. I reached rock bottom, started learning to trust in Him, and that He is the only one that can bring me peace and take all of those anxieties away. The verse, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." [1 Peter 5:7] really resonated with me. I believe God put in my heart to reach out to a counselor, and I have been seeing a counselor ever since. I don't need to see her as often as I did, but I still see her when I need to work on things, or if I feel myself having a struggle with it again. I actually am currently struggling a bit with it again. We think that the time I spent home after Fitz's came home from the NICU really made me anxious again. I wasn't able to go out into the world really and challenge myself, and so I was in a comfort zone for a bit too long, and so now when I am going out I am almost always anxious again. I just need to work my confidence back up knowing I can do these things with God. Best advice, never take a break from challenging yourself. Being comfortable for too long is never a good place to be. I did it for Fitz though, and I wouldn't change that for the world. [We had to keep him away from RSV and flu last year per doctors orders which he said literally stay at your house from December 3 till like the second week of April.] Hopefully this positive talk helps me and I can actually take my own advice! I know I don't want to spend my life anxious and afraid of most everything. I have been there and didn't like it at all. Retraining your brain is one of the hardest things I have ever done, and if God has helped me get there before, I know He can help me do it again. I did all of this with God's help. I would be in a terrible place if it wasn't for him coming into my heart and helping me realize how great life can be when I trust in him and cast my anxieties on Him. I wouldn't of been able to get married, have my children, or be the mom I am today if it wasn't for that rock bottom I had hit. God has a way of working on you when you need it most. Especially now after Fitz's journey, I have really learned more about my relationship between me and God. I had another curveball, something I wouldn't wish on any human, but I know God used it as a way to make me a better person. Most of all I feel He used Fitz's story to show others what God can do when you put it all in His hands. I love going to church, and taking my kids there as well. Even though I am so busy trying to help entertain kids and keep them quiet, I still get to hear little bits and pieces of the sermon! Anderson is really loving going to Sabbath School and so is Fitz. We really enjoy spending the Sabbath together as a family. We love resting, rejuvenating for the next week and just spending that special family time. Our lives are so busy, I really cherish the one guarantee a week that we get to spend time together without all the crazy life in the way.
- I use to work for my dad at his medical practice as his front office, office manager and billing specialist. I worked there for 4 years until I had Anderson. I literally went to an appointment on my lunch break at 39 weeks and was told I am going to the hospital to have the her that day and that was my last day there. I really enjoyed working for him, doing everything I could to help his business, and really getting to know my dad on another level. He always worked so much while I was growing up, I didn't get to see him or be around him certainly not as much as I got to when I worked for him. It was really special to me, and I just love that time I spent with him there. We kind of have a certain understanding about each other, where we have a much stronger, deeper relationship now.
- I have a creative bug. I did photography through high school and even some after high school. I really enjoy shooting. I use to really love shooting landscape and sporting events, but now I really enjoying taking photos of my children. I don't get to do it nearly as much as I would like, but I try to because I really love it. It satisfies my creative side. I have a huge passion for putting things together in homes. I really love interior design and interior decorating. I started a interior design company this past summer and I currently have two clients as well as we are building a cabin in Payson to sell that should be available later next year [2018]. My company is called Designated Homes . This summer I was trying to figure out what would be a steady outlet for my creativity and it dawned on me about what I did last year. Last year, a day before my water broke, I had done a walk through with a client [I had started working under a contractor before that and this was one of the first ones I was getting a job with]. After we realized I was going to be on bed rest, I wanted to still hold up my end of the bargain with this client, and I agreed to help him out while on bed rest. I was so glad to be given something that would distract me from the reality of bed rest. It really helped a lot for distraction purposes, and I was really enjoying it. I was able to source everything from bed, never seeing any of it in person. After I was discharged from the hospital I recovered at home for a few more weeks but then was able to go to the house and see the finished product. It was such a fun experience seeing how beautiful it turned out, knowing I picked it all from my bed. That's when this summer I realized that if I could do that on bed rest, why can't I do it with my two kids while at home either during nap times, fun outings with them, or when they go to sleep at night. I have two clients right now that are both about to start demo. I have a cabin we are custom building in Chaparral Pines in Payson that will be finished late next year [2018]. I haven't really told many people about it. I wanted to kind of quietly do this "project" to find out if it was something I could juggle while still keeping my kids top priority. I also love that Anderson has the creative bug. She is really looking at what I am doing and I can tell she takes interest. The other day she saw me on Pinterest looking at kitchens and said, "Mom, which one do you like?", I love that she wants to have these conversations with me already! I really look forward to helping more clients out and helping making some beautiful homes! Feel free to follow me on my design Instagram page @designatedhomes and then also make sure to check back on the company website to see the projects come to life!
- I am a perfectionist to the core. I have to try my hardest and my best at absolutely everything I do. If I fall short I figure out how to fix it, improve, and make it better. Some may say its a fault, but I think it's an asset. I do think that it makes me a bit crazy, as I stress over it all being as perfect as possible, but I feel like having kids has helped me not stress the little things. Being a mom makes you realize you just can't be perfect, or really even just trying to be perfect. Most of all I have learned to adapt. When perfectionism doesn't go your way, you have to learn to adapt to find a new way to strive for perfectionism. It may not be the way you started, but you can still find your way another way and it will probably have been greater than what it was before!
- When I speak about Fitz's journey I want to kind of let everybody know what I am talking about, if you don't already know. Last year I was pregnant with Fitz, we found out the gender at 16 weeks and one week later at 17 weeks pregnant my water broke. I didn't know that was even possible that early on, but turns out it happened. Doctors didn't really have any positive hope for us. I could feel him kicking and we saw his heart was still beating like it normally was. They recommended inducing me then, but after some research of our own, we chose to try to be on bed rest and see what could happen. Week after week we were really not told any positive hope. We just kept trying though has he kept holding on. I prayed that if something wasn't going to be okay, that God take him before I made it to viability [24 weeks]. I knew when I made it to 24 weeks, that was a sign, God helped me get that far and He was going to continue to help the rest of the way, I just needed to keep fully trusting in him. After 13.5 weeks on bed rest at 31 weeks on August 29, 2016 I went into labor. We had Fitz that afternoon weighing 3 lbs 5 ounces. He had machines that helped keep him alive, but the great thing was that his lungs responded to the machines. He was alive. After 96 days in the NICU, he came home December 3rd. We spent that time till middle of April hiding out at the house to keep him as healthy as we could. We had limited contact with people, especially if anybody was sick or around anybody who was sick, we just couldn't risk Fitz's health. He turned a year old just a few weeks ago and I just can't believe it! Look for pictures from his party on the next blog post!!!!!
I wanted to add some photos from the last few years just to kind of recap those big moments in my life!
A few of the photos are from:
