For most people, their child turning one comes all too fast. Babies change so much in the first year. They are constantly learning, improving, and growing. It makes time fly x100. With Fitz, his first year flew more than Anderson by far. Maybe it's because he is the second child, but I really think it was because he spent 1/4 of his first year in the NICU. He was there three months so instead of a newborn coming home, he was already three months old! It's hard for it not to fly when they come home at three months old! I just cannot believe he is already turning one. For everybody who has followed along with his story, you all know how special this day was for him, for me, and for our whole family. There were so many prayers, so many people supporting us, helping us pull through. We were told such bleak chances for him. Although we were told those things, we chose not to believe them, and figured if we can be the less than 1% it happens to, we can be the less than 1% that come out with no problems and everything going swimmingly. By all means, it wasn't an easy road...but what is great success without struggles? When I started planning his party, I KNEW it had to be big. I started to think that there was NO WAY I could cut out people who prayed, and helped him get where he is today. All the doctors, nurses, friends, family. Everybody needed to be there.
We sent out letters from "The White House" and they looked so legit there were multiple people who actually thought they had gotten mail from the President. On top of that, we had over 25 invitations never make it to people. They never came back either, so my theory is USPS confiscated them. That made me feel like all the work with paper, photoshop, and double printing (so I could get the signature on in the perfect spot), was all worth it. If they go missing with USPS, they must of have been that good! I had a BLAST planning the party. I had never really seen a theme like this, but I saw one photo on Pinterest, and thought, "Hey! This could work!", and then I ran with it. [A little backstory, we named Fitz after Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III off of the TV show Scandal. We loved the name Fitz over 3 years ago, and said when we had a boy, we were going to name him Fitzgerald. When we found out he was going to be a preemie, we thought, wow this name really will be so good for him. Little guy, big name. He deserves a name he can grow into! We tried a million middle names, and nothing sounded as good with Fitzgerald as Fitzgerald Thomas Grant. We decided who cares if we fully copy it, its a compliment to the writers, so we named him fully after the show. He is Fitzgerald Thomas Grant Augustyniak. As many of you know, his character on Scandal plays the President, so we always joke about him becoming President. Needless to say, when I saw that one picture on Pinterest of the kid at a presidential podium, I thought, okay, we HAVE to do this. Of course, like most things I do, I went overboard. I honestly don't know how to do something "under board" though. I always have to try my hardest, give it my all, and stop at no lengths. My husband could say thats a curse, but I say it's a fantastic quality I possess. ]
The party was amazing, having all of our friends and family there meant so much to us. We know that we wouldn't be where we are if it wasn't for all of our lovely friends and family who prayed, and prayed, and prayed! God got us through, but He specifically had the right people there to help us as well. It was just so much fun and was so special to celebrate Fitz's first birthday. About an hour after the party started, a Haboob (aka dust storm for those of you not from AZ, aka a hilarious word that sounds like the laughing stalk of boobs) came through and all my decorations had to be taken down in about two minutes. We ended up having to also do the cake smash inside, not with the backdrop we wanted, but what are we going to do? #Adapt. That kind of has been our motto with Fitz. We were constantly being told bad news, or things that weren't obviously ideal, but we had to just figure out how to make it work with the curve ball we were given.
Looking back some more at this past year, this journey could be viewed as such a negative experience. I honestly don't see it that way though. I have found so many positive things from it. I understand why God let us go through this trial. He knew we could handle it. He has great plans for this guy. He brought this kid into this world knowing he will do great things, and be a testament to what Faith can do. Every chance I get to tell people about Fitz's miraculous story, I am going to tell it. I am going to shout it from the rooftops. Everybody needs to know that miracles still happen and although there is so much bad in this world, we also need to all look for the good in the world. [#findthelove] Not only did I get to go through this journey with Fitz and be a special part of it, it taught me so much. It taught me the true definition of being a mom. That we truly would sacrifice and give up everything for our children. It taught me I could do things I NEVER thought I was capable of doing. I was afraid of hospitals, I hated needles, and I always had to be doing something, never sitting. Yet I was able to live in a hospital for 7 weeks, only seeing outside three times in those 7 weeks. I got multiple shots, power glides put in six times, blood draws every three days. I lived in a hospital, away from my daughter and husband, which also included being woken up every 4 hours in the night to get vitals. The craziest thing of all, I was able to stay in bed (except to pee and shower every few days), with limited movement (because each time I moved, I leaked fluid) and somehow had a peace and no desire to push those limits the doctors gave me. It wasn't a typical bed rest. I never got up to grab myself food, or refill my water, I was advised the first 6.5 weeks at home to have everybody do everything for me and if I was alone to just wait till somebody could come help me. Which meant somebody was there with me at all times, and if not, I was loaded up with refills and snacks all around me so that hopefully I didn't need anything while they were gone. The 7 weeks in the hospital I had lovely nurses who did all those things for me. While at home once a week, I saw the rest of my house [besides my master bedroom] for a brief second as I walked to the car for my weekly appointment. It was the once a week I felt the sun warming my skin, and the Arizona summer. I looked forward to that day all week, and when it came, it was lovely; but then it was over. Right away, I started looking forward to the following week's appointment. Maybe that is somewhat similar to the way I felt about the news I got at every appointment. Every week I was excited and hoping for the news that my sac miraculously sealed up, and that my amniotic fluid had grew to the normal amount. I was let down every week, with the same number, and no positive hope from the doctors except to keep trying to not go into labor while they kind of gave me this look that mean, "I still don't see how this is ever going to end up positively". They would constantly remind me that I could do all of this and still not have a good outcome. I would come home and cry, and have a rough night. The next day I would wake up, and had the feeling that a miracle was happening, that at the next week appointment, when I felt the sun warm my skin, I would be told a miracle had happened. I had a window in my bedroom that I watched the clouds float by in. I didn't know it then, but when I was in the hospital, I wouldn't have a view of the sky or the sun, [just a window that looked into another window to the hallway] and I would miss the window in my room with the light pouring in. One of the medical professionals gave me her cell number and I would give her updates, and ask her questions. I could feel medically she wasn't sure how it was going to work, but spiritually, she saw something was possible. I could feel her faith and she was part of my feelings that there was hope. In the hospital, I had a weekly wheel chair ride outside of my room to the ultrasound room. That was my thing I looked forward to. Actually on the day I was admitted, I was told my fluid went from a 4 to a 7. Somehow, I was having a small bit of my positive thoughts come true. [My fluid actually ended up going up to a 10 at about 28 weeks and right before I had him it had gone and hovered back around 7]. I also had to keep a 16 month old away from my belly so it wasn't hit or pushed on, and I couldn't even come close to picking her up or helping her in any way. Yet I had to find ways to spend time with her that wouldn't lead to any of those things. We read lots of books, watched YouTube, TV and colored. We immediately changed from me doing everything for her and with her, to me not being able to really care for her at all. My husband's and my mom's schedules had to change to fill the void of me not being able to help out at all. All of these things were things I didn't think was possible for me not to do, let alone not have a severe need to do it. I even missed changing her diapers, holding her, putting her to bed at night and getting to be the first thing she saw in the morning. I went from seeing her 12 hours a day to seeing her 2-3 hours a day. God gave me a peace though that is unexplainable. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about it, because that time on bed rest was honestly the most peaceful I have ever felt in my life. When we give our lives completely up to God, we release every burden, every stress and every fear. He carries it all for us. He died on the cross, so we could feel that. That realization changed my life. Now that a year has passed, and I am back into normal, crazy life; I sometimes long for that time. I long for having that same peace. I want to find that same peace when the world came to a halt, but this time while out in the world while cars are moving and the world is spinning. I will work hard to work it into the world outside of four bedroom or hospital walls. I want to strive to find that peace not just when I am laying in bed, and have no other options but to fully trust in God. Life gets busy, and we forget that even though we are busy, and we technically have options in life; it is all in God's hands. We have to fully trust in Him in every instance. As I long for that same inner peace throughout my everyday life now, I know that it is possible. I know I have gotten it before, I just need to figure out how to achieve that while able to be mobile and having a life that involves constantly moving. It's in there and I know I can find it at any point. It is easily found when time is spent alone, away from the world, confined to a bed, in silence with just God and I, communicating through prayer. At one point I will find the words, and the time to blog the rest of this profound experience. [I actually was writing while on bedrest, but then my computer erased it all, and when I thought about starting over it felt daunting. #ihateelectronics]. For now, I will celebrate this kid turning one for as long as I can [probably until he turns 2...and then the cycle will continue until he is 3, and so on] because him turning one is way more than him actually just turning one.
Let me start with the amazing cupcakes and cake! Lesley's Creative Cakes did an amazing job at putting my ideas to life! I loved how the cupcakes were in ice cream cones and the pinwheels to top it off were delicious. I can't forget the fact that not only did they look amazing, they tasted delicious!!!!! These photos were taken by Noble Photographers and we are so happy with how they came out. When we first came up with the idea for the party I knew I wanted burgers and fries. Our original plan was for chef Andrew to make all of it, with help from his sous chef of course [me!] but then when we decided it would be a charity event and we saw the number of invites going out, we knew we needed to get it catered. I know I know, what kid has a catered first birthday party, but seriously, how can we make all of those?!? We contacted Kiss the Chef Catering and we knew they were perfect for the job. They brought all the delicious burgers, buns and toppings that we could ever imagine. The fries were delicious and honestly it was so nice not having to worry about cooking! Just another thing I got off my plate, literally! I was so worried with how many people we were planning on having, that there was no way I was going to be able to capture all the memories I wanted to of this special day. I decided to use Noble Photographers as well as Taylor Schroder to be our videographer! I am just so happy that I will be able to look back on this big milestone with so many great photos and a beautiful video of my son and family! I will tag some other details below for decorations so you don't have to spend forever looking for some yourself!
